As a teacher who is also a coach and director, I become very close to some families in our school. One of these families was expecting baby #6, and their other children were ecstatic. The kindergartener was hoping for a girl, because they would have 3 girls AND 3 boys and it would be even again.
He got his wish - a baby girl born with an uncertain diagnosis. At first it was positive for Trisomy 18, then that was negative. This week they got a positive for Trisomy 13, but she seemed to be making progress. they had moved her out of NICU to a step down unit, and there were a lot of positives happening. The other children were so excited, even though her difficulties meant their parents were spending most of their time at the hospital. Throughout this whole ordeal, the father has found time to send email updates to a teacher who redistributed them, and then to update a "blog" provided through the hospital with daily updates and pictures.
This afternoon, I found out that this little girl was called to Heaven last night. After just 17 days here with her earthly family, she's home with the angels.
Yet her father's last post is extremely full of hope and thanksgiving. He knows his little girl is with God, and God's will had been the prayer from the beginning. It gives me such a wake up call. I take my faith for granted - I know God is there, and I know it is always HIS will that is done. Sometimes it is hard to understand why, but especially with the events of the last two years, I've accepted that we're not always supposed to know why. But do I pray continually for God to do things His way? Or do I selfishly pray for the results I want for myself and loved ones? I know it is the latter most of the time, even if that just means to wrap them in His love. The father mentioned things he is thankful - they never had to discipline or argue with their youngest daughter. Most importantly, her life was about love. Everyone who heard about her showed love - to her, her siblings, her parents, her faith community. He is thankful for all the people who have been praying for this daughter, and he is thankful for the people who were brought to prayer because of her life.
Over the past few weeks, all of this has made me stop and think.
- A lot of times I will compose a blog post in my head while driving, but then I'm too busy to type it out. How can I be too busy, when he was taking time away from his daughter or other children to type an update?
- Someday, I hope to be having children of my own. Could I place their lives into God's will so easily? Or would I fight to keep them with me, no matter His will?
- I offer my prayers to God, but I don't think I stop and talk to him. Maybe I need more of this in my life.