Post It Note Tuesday

Post It Note Tuesday

Memories and Broken Promises

It is amazing how quickly you realize all the promises that were broken when a relationship ends.  How, without warning, you get hit by another wave.

For instance, I had been promised to be taught how to shoot a handgun.  It was thought that I needed to learn how to protect myself.  Why did I remember this?  Because my brother suggested that I shoot the stray cat that keeps going into my shed.

Or the fact that I've lost my motivation for exercising.  I had an offer made to me (which I don't feel right sharing, especially now that it won't happen) that was made in the interest of helping to keep me motivated at a time when I was struggling.  All motivators that I had are now gone.  What reminded me of that?  The soreness I felt this morning from sealing my deck - it was exactly like the day after the first time I did the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.

Offers to help pay for things that were/are slightly beyond my reach, but necessary.  You know, those little evils that pop up.  Again... the offer was made, but the promise is gone.  The reminder came when I had to buy some of those evils today.

Every time I drive by his house, I feel my heart clench.  I drove by him on Friday on my way home - we waved at each other, and I managed not to cry.  But it hurt that the only exchange, only communication in weeks, was a wave.

I had a dream last night.  Dreams sometimes hurt more than reality.  To dream that a ring had been bought.... I don't even know what to think anymore.  It kept me awake most of the night, because I was afraid it would play again - and yet part of me was wishing it was true.  Why is it that our dreams reflect the things we want most which are sometimes the things that we fear most?

Busy Bee

It's been a busy week with lots of changes.  Originally, I was supposed to be at a workshop today, but they couldn't get enough subs for the day, so I'm at school.  I found this out after I had arranged for a sub for Mass, so I had to let her know that I didn't need her.
Tuesday night was grocery shopping, home for less than an hour, followed by community band rehearsal.  I'm really enjoying getting to play my clarinet on a regular basis again, even if my hands and mouth are worn out by the end of the rehearsals.  It's nice to be doing something with the instrument that I spent so long learning!
Wednesday saw me and my mom attending a visitation.  The grandfather of a huge family from the church I attended through high school passed away.  Knowing so many of the family members, and my mom working with one, we knew we had to attend.  After, we measured doors and windows at my house, and did all the figuring to order siding.
Last night mom and I went to Home Depot and ordered the siding for my house!  It's a color called granite - it's the darkest gray I could find, although it's still only about a medium gray.  Fastest way to spend a large chunk of change, that's for sure!  Then we went to O'Charlie's, Dad's treat from Tuscon, lol (he's out there for business training).
After school today, I'm supposed to visit a friend and her new baby.  Two church festivals and hoping to seal my deck means another busy weekend!