While my ex-fiance wasn't a liar, he wasn't 100% for me. I got an email in our "wedding account" yesterday that was my "one month reminder." It hit me that I was supposed to be getting married in less than a month. I was supposed to be joining my life to his.
But I'm not.
And I'm ok with it. Actually, I'm better than ok - I am thankful. Will I still be sad on June 12? Probably. I mean, I was going to get to see friends and family that I get to see once every few years. I was going to have time with my girls to just relax and get beautiful. I was going to wear my princess dress.
But I remind myself what I don't have to
And I GET a lot.
- I get to be ME. The real me, not some
messed upfake version of me.
- I got to by myself a house, and decorate it however I want to.
- I get to be happy again - something I didn't realize I was missing. I never wanted to be THAT GIRL... you know, the one whose happiness depends on his approval.... but I was. And now I'm not. My happiness does not depend on someone who makes me second (or third...).
- I get to reconnect with an old friend.... and enjoy his company.
- I get to reconnect with ANOTHER old friend, and follow through on some "what ifs". And by what if, I mean "what if we hadn't broken up, what if I had never met David, what if things hadn't happened the way they did 5 years ago?" Getting a second chance with Josh answers a lot of questions for me - in a really good way. And...
- I get to relax. And remember what it's like to just have fun. With no pressure, surrounded by people who like me for me and who wonder when I'm not around.
Thankful that I get a shot at truly finding my happily ever after.