Monday, September 13, 2010

By trying not to cry, I make myself sick

I don't know about you, but crying during my workday just doesn't work for me.  Part of that is that regaining my state of mind to teach young children takes a lot of effort - part of it is that I'm usually about finished at that point.  Needless to say, with being unhappy about the current situation, I want to cry at least a few times a day.  Something hits me, I have a thought of something we did, I see a picture, and I fight tears.

In the process of not crying, I've ended up with an upset tummy.  It's in knots most of the day, and I'm not hungry.  I still eat 3 meals a day because I'm supposed to, and if I get hungry I make sure to take advantage of it.  Most of the time, my tummy is so upset that I feel like I should be afraid to eat.  I try to drink a lot of coke (it was what my mom used to give me when I was sick) and eat tums when that's no possible.

I keep thinking things will get easier.  I keep thinking that today will be the day I don't cry.  Then I fall into a trap somewhere, or someone mentions something, and I feel myself choking up.  Repressing it is driving me crazy, but it's what I have to do to get through the day.  I know it WILL get easier - I just hope that it happens sooner rather than later!

How do you deal with sadness in your work-life?  Any tips for going through a grieving process while still functioning?


Bicoastal Bride said...

I am so sorry for what you're going through, Christy. I know it's so hard to put on a happy face and pretend you're OK when you really just want to break down. I don't really have any good advice on how to make it easier, becasue I don't think there is a way to do that. I will, however, keep you in my heart and thoughts.

Nerissa said...

I'm sorry to hear about you going through a rough time. When I'm down, my stomach usually gets upset too. I usually suck on peppermints or drink herbal tea to help. I usually try to avoid caffeine but dark chocolate sometimes helps lift my spirits too! Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I usually give something to keep me busy in a simple way. If possible get like a paperclip or something to do with your hands if you can. This always distracts me when I'm not feeling the best.

Also just text a friend when you're feeling down. Sometimes the best thing is to just talk to a friend even if it is that way.


bekapaige said...

I know what you're going through and it's so hard :( I really rely on coffee with plenty of milk in it when I'm not eating because of sadness or stress. I'm not sure why it helps but it does.
But it's caffeine so remember to drink water also or you'll get dehydrated... There is just no easy answer.

Do you remember that line in Sleepless in Seattle? When Tom Hanks says he's just going to keep breathing and one day it won't hurt anymore? It seems silly... but it's true.